go in CHEAP & come out CLEAN

Just got some details about the Lavigne/Kroeger nuptials. See below!

• The Lavigne/Kroeger wedding will be sponsored by Ed Hardy and Hot Topic.
• It will be catered by Guy Fieri.
• The bride will wear checkered pink and black & the groom will wear bleached, whiskered denim.
• The vows will be a series of grunts and warbles w/ devil horns thrown in the air as they both scream “fuck yeah Canada, eh!”
• Guestlist includes all of Creed, the pick-up artist Mystery, Criss Angel, Uncle Kracker, the band Staind, friends and family.
• The wedding will be officiated by Dick Cheney.
• Donald Trump will give the bride away.
• Butthole Tattoo Girl will serve as the maid of honor.
• The nuptials will take place at Planet Hollywood, with a reception in the parking lot behind Wal-Mart.
• The first dance will be “Higher” by Creed. It will be performed live.
• The signature drink will be Goldschläger shots.
• Light snacks during the cocktail hour will include Fritos.
• It is reported that the ring bearer for the ceremony will be this guy: