Is there anything more maddening, frustrating, and insipidly stupid than how many dudes answer the following questions on OKCupid?
“Is a guy that sleeps with 100 girls a bad person?”
“Is a girl that sleeps with 100 guys a bad person?”
What is it with 70% of the profiles I see on that fucking website, that always have the answer “no” for the guy-related question and “yes” for the girl-related one? Why do people not see how hypocritical this is? Why is it that a number can define a woman differently than a man? How is it that a person’s sexual partners — NOT the content of their character — can be such a defining characteristic for people’s definitions of “good” and “bad”? Does that mean there’s no such thing as a “bad” virgin or a “good” sexually-open non-virgin?
It blows my mind when dudes answer this question (and MORE SO when girls do, because, holy fucking shit don’t even get me started on THAT self-hatred train. Women misogynists are the most confounding things in the universe) and then reach out to women on that site and expect them to respond! It’s never about the number or the opinion more so than it is the hypocrisy of having two different opinions on the SAME question. The only difference is between one having a dick and the other a vagina. Why is getting it put in dirtier and sluttier than putting it in? The same shit happens whether you’re a penis or a vagina: sexy times and usually orgasm.
Perhaps it’s the logistics of sex that make people feel like female sexuality is inferior to males’? But, if that is the case, then why is that? Is it because having a stick versus a hole is somehow considered cleaner? If you’re somehow mentally relating it to delivery vessels being more “clean” and therefore superior to receptacles, well, I’m really going to have to your ability to properly handwash bowls, glasses, or vases (or anything that isn’t silverware?), and worry about where else this sheer idiocy, hypocrisy, lack of common sense, and general asshattery in logic will appear next.
Also I’d like to say thanks for making it *that* much easier to ignore your request to “get wild, lol.”
Los Angeles may trump New York in terms of the weird dating habits of its inhabitants. People are flaky. Like, way flaky. And their reasons for being so are even flakier than that. And nothing is quite so special as the secret shame some of these dudes carry when it comes to being interested in a fat girl. Honestly, I’m not sure where in the handbook it says we all welcome the pity fuck like a gift, but it definitely isn’t in MY edition. Or they only want to sleep with you in private, as if it’s illegal to like someone that isn’t the Hollywood standard of perceived beauty. And if you aren’t interested? FORGET IT. There’s a special sort of anger in a man that feels like he’s doing you a favor by showing interest in you, when you reject him.
People are also seemingly obsessed with how their work-life can impress and help their dating life. As if it somehow matters what sort of status you have in their (usually the entertainment/media) industry of choice. As if sussing out another person’s connections/aspirations is a prerequisite for a viable partner rather than, say, compatibility and interesting personality. There’s a whole lot of peacocking without any substance. It can be exhausting.
I was frustrated by dating in NYC, but LA dating doesn’t even want to try to taunt me with possibility. It just mostly makes me want to not even try.
Really, I’d just love to be proven wrong.
If you are interested in a lady…a few things to maybe do less:
1.) Do not stand around outside the subway station, see a girl you like & then immediately start trailing her as if you were waiting for this moment.
2.) Do not blurt out a non-sequitur & expect her to have any clue of what you are talking about.
3.) Do not say “not as bad as yesterday, huh?” and expect her to know what the fuck you’re talking about. Do not then clarify that you mean the weather.
3a.) Especially when it is ten degrees colder today than it was yesterday.
4.) When she speeds up to walk away from you, don’t speed up, too. She hasn’t even looked you in the eye, she’s not interested.
5.) Don’t start running behind her. This is a surefire way to convince her you are trying to kill her, no matter how clearly she could probably take you in a battle (due mostly to your awkward nature).
6.) Do not change where you are going just to follow this girl who is not interested in talking to you. This really convinces her you are a serial killer.
7.) Don’t follow her into the cross walk and ask her if she ever ordered fries from the fry truck you both passed 2 blocks ago.
8.) As she continues to not look you in the eye & say no, turning away from you, do not then say “hey, excuse me miss, but where did you get your frames?” as if you haven’t been trying to talk to her for 3 blocks. 3 very long, very awkward blocks.
9.) Please never call glasses “frames” because who does that?
10.) Please don’t nearly follow her into her office (until you realize she is going into that big building that you don’t have access to), say goodbye and go BACK across the street from where you just came from, because then she’ll really be convinced you’re going to stalk her office and murder her on that weird stretch of 6th Avenue by the Sleepy’s.
(The subtitle of this post was going to be “Why Is This Every Dude That’s Into Me…Ever?”)
1.) It is stupid
2.) It is tiring
3.) It is annoying
4.) I am over it
5.) I am done trying to be open to the idea that I should somehow date and involve myself in shenanigans of the heart.
[a.] You know what makes this all the worst? THE INTERNET. The internet has ruined people. I say this…on the internet. I KNOW, I AM RUINED, TOO.
6.) “I’m focusing on my career.”
7.) See how melofuckingdramatic this shit makes me?
8.) It’s way more fun to hang out with boys when you don’t have to theorize about the possibility of spending an extended period of your life with them.
Goodbye FOREVER, OKCupid. You suck and I never liked you, anyway!
Now, let’s move on, shall we? Back to just getting rejected in real life!