This afternoon I treated myself to a cinematic double-header: The King’s Speech (so amazing!) and Blue Valentine. And I can say with utter assurance that I have never been so devastated by a movie before in my life.
I don’t want to ruin it for anyone here who hasn’t seen it, but if you’re uninterested in a discussion until you’ve seen it, skip this now as I don’t want to spoil it for you (though, there’s admittedly not much to spoil in terms of the story-line since you know what happens from the previews.)
That movie re-created every fear I’ve ever had about relationships and what ultimately keeps me, I think, from ever being on one. Even those with the best intentions, who seem to have such a strong, open bond…ultimately end. And it’s never a clean, civilized break. I left that theater completely dazed and almost in pain from it. It was such a raw & honest movie—too much so. I still can’t stop thinking about it, it makes my head dizzy to think that everything I’ve tried to quell in my own mind is more likely than not true for everyone. The thing is, is that I couldn’t even cry over any of it, it was too overwhelming to even cry about. Watching that movie (though the acting was impeccable and beautiful in its own way), was like emotional self-mutilation. I don’t think I could do it again.